Ukip Southend: The First 100 Days

Imagine the scenario, after the votes have been counted it transpires that UKIP have won enough seats on Southend-on-Sea Borough Council. What would the first hundred days look like?

Well, of course, even if UKIP managed to win all seventeen wards on May 7th they would still only have twenty-two councillors – four short of being able to run the borough on their own. The first few days would see them sending out feelers to see if anyone would support them.

Presuming that someone could come to agreement with them, their next task would be to appoint a leader. If they managed a clean sweep in the council chamber then Waterworth MP is probable – but whether he would give up his council seat and allow Moyies to ride majestic is open to speculation.

Cue first dispute. After much harrumphing Moyies issues a press release saying that he could not possibly lead an administration that would allow him as a member. Moyies then expels all the other twenty-one UKIP councillors, citing irregularities.

UKIP #2, under the leadership of Callaghan, then assume control. He promptly forgets to attend the first Full Council, which also sees half of his team absent. The rump that managed to find the Civic Centre then attempt to pass motions that would have Southend-on-Sea leave the EU, ban all immigrants from the borough, and set up grammar schools on every street corner. Defeated by their own indiscipline, they then have an internal inquiry. “Our opponents will label us as buffoons” is heard amongst the shouting emanating from their meeting room.

Amongst the few things that the UKIP administration manage to get agreed is that henceforth polling will be conducted on April 1st each year.

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